Ebb & Flow

Connection is a funny thing. Sometimes it’s instant, usually it’s work.

If you asked me a year ago whether I thought connection was worth it, I’d probably have said no. Connection meant effort, it meant openness, it meant vulnerability. And the three of these together meant the acknowledgment that despite my best efforts, life cannot be done alone. And for some time (a lot of it), I believed that admitting to this made me weak. Because, what if I could do it alone?

What if I could prove that I was so stubbornly independent that I could handle life by myself?

What if...

And whilst pursuing the “what if” fuelled my ego, it depleted my relationships and sent me into pride-filled isolation. If connection meant leaning on people and letting them in, I wanted none of it.

Until I realised that wanting none of it ultimately meant having nothing real. I wasted time for a long time. I missed out on the joy of meaningful relationships. I missed out on the power that came from being real and raw and messy and honest. I missed out on understanding what grace looks like in action. Full blown, life changing action. But now, in the ebb and flow of the life I was dreamed of - its ups and downs and milestones and setbacks and highs and lows and loves and losses and all its many in-betweens, I’m learning that connection is potent. It’s powerful. It’s vital.

Connection isn’t something for some people, connection is everything for everyone.

It’s for the big things and the small things and the things we think don’t matter.

It changes everything.

It changes us.

It’s changing me.